I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
