Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm getting married
To pizza
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
