yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
