The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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