Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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