so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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