That's intense
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
