That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
