We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
