Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
