im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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