I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
