so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
