TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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