I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
