He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
