i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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