im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
