At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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