I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
