It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
