If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My vagina just recognized that song.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
