Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
