He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
