I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
