she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize