She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
