Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
