R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
