Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't notice because vodka
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
