Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
