Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
