I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
