11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
