hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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