Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
