i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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