is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
