Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
