idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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