she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
