The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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