Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Semen is not good for contacts.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
