are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
