I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
