Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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