You smell like a Billy Joel song
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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