too bad you live with your parents still
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
