Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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