Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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