it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
